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Feeling Glum

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A Bit Down and Out

 

If I’m being honest with myself, here lately I’ve been feeling like I’ve been in a rut.  It’s been on and off since the beginning of the new year. January was not pleasant.  February was better, but March has been an emotional low for me.  This low wasn’t a depression, just a lack of willpower.  I didn’t do really anything other than what was expected of me.  I’ve been sick and with the topsy-turvy weather, I just haven’t felt like me.

I’m sure I’m not the only one that the weather has played this game with.  But I know for one, I’m sick of it.  There isn’t a ton I can do about it.  Since the weather is as the weather does.  But I’m over it.  I’m praying that since we are now in April the cold will stop a bit.  But I’m so tired of feeling so low.

March is officially over, dead, gone, unlikely to return in this year.  I’m letting that down and out, low, gross feeling die with it.  Mind over matter isn’t that the saying.

As March fades from our minds so will the laziness feeling that has crept over my body.  The lack of work, that has been plaguing me, will dissipate. I will be able to finally do my blog work, my columns, my coloring books.  The things I call work that give me joy.  The books I’ve left unread will be read this month.   I’m done succumbing to my emotions, my feelings.  I’m stronger than this.   I’m done.

Tomorrow is April 3rd.  The first Monday of the month.  And I’m shaking the dust off, and starting a new path.  It’s the only way to not waste this next month.  The only way to get myself back to the point where I want to be.  The only way to get my head un-fuzzed.  It really is the only way.  I have to shake myself and find myself again.  To stop being so glum.

 

That is the plan.  Now I only hope that I can hold true to the words I’ve placed down.  Because as we all know plans have a way of going sideways.  So we shall see.

 

and for now.

 

That is all.

 

Today

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I Had Every Opportunity

 

I have had every opportunity today to conquer the world.  I have had all day to do whatever I wanted, and today what I wanted was nothing.

I mean I should have cleaned, in fact, I had a hefty today list of cleaning and work that needed to be done.  But I was exhausted. Mentally exhausted, physically exhausted, emotionally exhausted.  It was the trifecta of tired.  But I couldn’t waste the day. could I?  It’s not in my nature to be just lazy.  I have to do something.  So I took the opportunity of nothing and decided to binge watch some TV.  And do some sort of work.    I used my excel spreadsheet and figured up how much money each parent owes me for girl scout cookies. I did a lot of correspondence via messaging online.  But after that was all done, I colored.  I know that sounds like I’m five, truthfully in some aspects I am, but it was fun.

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My awesome husband got me a book for my birthday!  So it’s fun to actually use it, along with my new cool markers.  The world should have been conquered but it was good to be nice and lazy today.  It’s been good to let the boys just play and watch some decent movies.  It’s been good for me to not have to do work.  I mean I did do some work, but it wasn’t like I was killing myself or adhering to a strict schedule. That in itself is good enough for me.

Though my free day must come to an end.  I have to get off my butt and make supper.  Which I’m not dreading, but I am not really wanting to do.  Thus is life.   Tomorrow it’s back to the norm, I have to the grocery shopping.  Get things prepared as much as I can for the upcoming week.

 

Well, that’s my story for today.  What is yours?

 

#that is all.

Obligatory Post

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Because it’s My Birthday

 

That is right, when I woke up this morning, it was a day that celebrates me being born.  To mark another year on the third planet from the sun.  I’m now thirty-one and it’s not a milestone birthday or anything. But it is my birthday.

As anyone does when they come to a change, there is a time for reflection.  I like to reflect a lot.  Here is what I think about the last year of my life.  It was busy.  When I turned thirty I thought that finally, I’m an adult.  Which is really true.  My twenties were spent trying to figure things out.  And now that I’m thirty-one, I’m not sure if I have anything really figured out. But what I do know is that no matter how stressed out I get, life is really good.

Here is why my life is good.  I am a child of the King.  Thank God, Jesus died for me.  I’m forgiven.  That is the first reason my life is good.  Then there are other things.  I’m married to a wonderful man.  He works hard to provide for our family.  I have three kids whom I adore.  They are definitely a handful, but I’m blessed to have them.    I have a beautiful home.  A great support system in my family.   I have good friends.  I have a wonderful church that I get to call home.  I have things to do.  I have awesome blogs (journey of faith, tv watcher, aosfans) that make me happy to work on.  That have been getting really good feedback.  (Well AOS and TV Watcher are)

So on my 31st birthday; I’ve decided I’m going to make a list in my new journal, of the top 31 things I want to do this upcoming year.  I can’t wait to make this list…..

 

Life is good.  I’m excited to see what 31 brings me.

 

and that is all.

Book Review

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I Finished A Book

 

Yes, I did.  I finished the first book of 2017 and it wasn’t terrible.  I have a Goodreads goal of reading  40 books this year, and I’m down to needing only 39 more.  It’s a good feeling knocking that first one off the list.

 

While you can check out my Goodreads page to see my review, I decided to put it here as well.  Every word for word.

 

The first book read:  The Chemist by Stephenie Meyer

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After many moments of not liking this story. I’m happy to report that I liked the way the story played out. There were a few things that made me crazy, i.e. the MC name changing frequently. While I understood it, it annoyed me. Also, feeling that the characters were too familiar to those of “Twilight.” Especially when it came to the love story.

Also, there were parts of the story, where it felt like it should have been a straightforward love story instead of this action/adventure love combo. For me, it felt as if these two stories should not have been mashed together, up until the end, when I was super happy with the way it had played out.

“The Chemist” had its good points as well. The last ten chapters, it was hard to put the book down. I became invested in the characters and needed to know their ending. I needed to know if the MC would be able to pull it all off since the skills and knowledge were not 100% the best. Old movies and books are where she had picked up her training in other matters. The epilogue really sealed the deal. I was satisfied with the ending of these characters. It felt natural to its conclusion.

At the end of the day, I would read this story again, while I’m not in love with it like I have been with other tales, it was good. I liked it.

 

and frankly.

 

that is all.

 

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Traveling Aboard

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Our Mexico Trip

 

I can’t tell you how old I was when my family traveled outside of the American board for my first time.  We took a trip to Canada, but it was before 9/11 and didn’t need a passport to exit or reenter the country from that border.  So when my husband first named the possibility of going to Mexico, I was a bit gobsmacked.

As the months passed and it looked like we were really were going to have the chance to go, I started the process to get us both passports.  It was a process.  But you don’t care about those logicists.  Frankly, I don’t either.  Just know that I was very nervous about getting it done and getting it done right.

When the hubby went on his annual company trip, it was confirmed that in January we would be traveling to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.  I was excited, but it was also months away, so I tried to not think about it.  

Then January came, and I had to think about it.  We were going!  OMG.  Now first, let me explain, this was not just a vacation that we decided we were going on.  This was a reward for the extremely hard work my husband has put into his company and the great job he had done in the year for the company.  My husband went in early, came home late and busted his butt while he was there.  He took a store that was in trouble and turned it around to make it profitable.  He’s like in the top 20% of the company nationwide.  It’s pretty incredible to think about the work he’s done.  The pride I feel for him is overwhelming.  He is an amazing man.

So, he EARNED this trip.  An all expense paid trip to the Marriott Resort in Mexico.  The airfare, hotel accommodations, meals and drinks through the day.

 

We left Friday morning, Roger was kind enough to be at our house 3:20 am to get us to the airport in enough time to check in and all that.  Mom was amazing and was already at my house to be with the kids.  After a round of kisses, we were off on our trip.  We got to the airport and I was super nervous.  One. I was going to a foreign place.  Two. I hadn’t flown over a decade.  Three.  I already felt sick to my stomach from lack of eating a proper supper.  The airport was the airport.  We left from Concourse A; which happened to be the concourse that I ran all over the summer after my freshman year working.  But man, it was different.  They have really upgraded the airport.  I mean, that was ten years ago, so I am not surprised, but whatever.  Finally, we had boarded the plane and were off.  Flying into Houston, Texas; a place I’ve also had never been to before.  We were flying before the sun had risen, so seeing the sunrise about the clouds, well that is a view that is just incredible.

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In Houston, we went to our next gate and hung out eating some snacks.  Boarding again, I knew when we landed we would be in a different country.  When we were coming into our landing in Houston, you could see all the roads and buildings.  It was the typical city from the air.  But when we landed into PV it was a different world. The roads we saw from above were primarily dirt roads.  Now they did have paved roads throughout the main part of the city, but the overall landscape showed dirt paths.  But what was amazing was the mountains.  Now I have seen the Great Smokies.  And they are large and incredible.  But the mountains as we came into land were just different.  They were more grand, larger, beautiful.  My pictures really don’t do it justice.

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The landing was easy, the flight hadn’t been as terrible as it could have been. And once we breezed through customs we were to head to the greeters who’d take us to the hotel.  But first, we had to pass through the Shark Tank.  This was the scariest part of the trip.  Phil had our suitcase, I had our carry on and we walked with our group into this room full of people who was trying to make a sale.  They were like a crazed and vicious dog.  They were yelling about having our travel arrangements and having to pay a tax for it.  And all this other crazy stuff.  No was not the answer they wanted to hear, and I felt tired after getting through to the room.  Once we were out, we loaded into the bus and took a ten-minute ride on the CRAZIEST road to the hotel.  They drive so differently.  People are cut off, speeding, changing lanes.  You think Ohioans can’t drive well, let me tell you they are saints compared to the crazy Mexican drivers I witnessed.

Walking up to the hotel from our van was a relief.  But it was weird.  Any hotel I’ve ever been to has had a door to walk through.  Not there, though.  It was an archway.  The lobby was open aired.  And from the second I was through it I could feel the ocean breeze hitting my face. The hotel was grand and wonderful and had all these beautiful flowers everywhere.  Once we got into our room, we took a stroll on the beach.  I finally have had my feet in the Pacific Ocean.

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The beach was rocky.  It would have stretches of sand that were peppered with tiny rocks and then there were be these massive big rocks that the water hit.  I’d never seen that in my limited beach trips.  That night I started to feel sick (I assume from the travel and lack of eating proper meals) but that didn’t stop me from enjoying the dinner that Phil’s company had arranged.  Each manager that was there was recognized for their achievements.  But the organizers took the time to recognize the spouses for their part of it.  Which I had to say felt very nice.  I sometimes feel like I’m not that important because I only run the house.  But I run our family, while he runs his business. And that is important.  They were also thankful that we put up with them being gone for so long.  I liked that they did that.

***

On Day Two, Saturday,  I felt much better.  Thank God.  We got up and had an amazing breakfast.  It was buffet style and had a lot of choices I recognized.  It had some weird choices and I just avoided them.  I stuck with food I knew for that morning since I was afraid to tempt fate too much.  We traded our American dollars for Mexican peso and felt like we were rich.  Since $200 equaled over 4,000 pesos.  Then in a group of 8, we went to the boardwalk.  This place was very beautiful.  And had many shops where we spend those pesos.  Getting a small gift for loved ones.  There were all kinds of strange statues and nifty things to see.  The thing that really got me, was there was very few blocking.  It was all open, even when it was a straight drop down.  There was no fences or anything.  Like even with the statues there was no don’t touch type of deal.  There was one statue that was a ladder straight up, and people were climbing it.  I was like, seriously, why?

My favorite part of walking on the boardwalk was going into this cathedral.  It was gorgeous.  It had all these statues and carvings that were just impressive.

 

I know, it’s a lot of pictures.  But it was a beautiful place.  Once we got back from town we hung out in the pool with a group until it was time to get ready for our dinner reservations.  We ate at Mikado, which was hibachi.  (We made a point to eat at all 4 resort restaurants.)  It was a fun evening we met up with another couple and just had a good night full of laughs.  It was good food, and it was so filling, but it wasn’t quite the hibachi that we are used to.  Since it wasn’t overloaded with soy sauce.  There was also no yum-yum sauce.  So that was crazy.  We spend the rest of the night sitting in the lobby bar hanging out.  They had a live duo playing songs and it was just a nice night.

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Day Three, Sunday was a new experience we got up, had room service for breakfast.  The french toast was good, even with the raisins in it.  Then after a bit of indecision, we went off to the spa to have back messages.  I spent time in the steam, the sauna and the jacuzzi.  Then had my back pampered and it was perfect.  That night was the real treat.  A huge group of us, (24) loaded into two mini busses and took an hour drive up a mountain to a restaurant called Le Kliff.  It was built into the side of the mountain and made with the idea of a wonderful view at dinner.

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This night was wonderful.   It was just great to sit around with other adults and eating fancy food.  The crazy thing was they gave you a cup and pour a bottle of water into it.  All fancy like, but they also put a random piece of fruit in it.  Some had cucumber, some had grapefruit and on and on.  They didn’t ask you want you wanted either, they just gave it to you.  I had beef medallions and they were yummy. There were these weird animals that I had never seen before coming into the restaurant.  A lot of our group went and played with them. Phil said they were like cats.  But others described them as possums.  So I stayed far, far away.  Though it was cool how friendly they were.    The ride back was insane because there were no traffic lights.  There were no street lights.  It was just lit by headlights.  I sort of just held on to Phil and tried to not worry.   That night was just chill time in the hotel lobby again.  We watched the BJ Penn fight on UFC on the TVs and that was disappointing.

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Day Four, Monday was our last day there.  I spent the morning packing and then we went and had breakfast.  There was just a lot of downtime as we were prepping to come back.  We loaded onto a bus and went to the airport.  It was a much easier time to go into that airport.  Then we hung out forever until our flight.   That flight was the hardest flight of the entire trip.  It was long.  I was uncomfortable.  I was so fidgety.  I read over 200 pages to attempt to calm myself.  We were on time until we hit the Chicago then due to weather we were in a holding pattern.  Coming down to land was rough and it made me feel lightheaded.  Once we landed we literally had 30 minutes to go through customs, get our bag, recheck our bag, go to Terminal One to go through security, get to Terminal Two and board out flight.  And we made it JUST IN TIME.  It was very close.  Landing at the home airport was nice.  It was just good to be home.  Roger drove us back home.  Where my boys were still sitting up.  The trip was incredible.  It was a once in a lifetime experience and I’m so thankful that I was able to go.  I’m thankful to my parents for keeping my kids.  Knowing they were in safe hands, made it easier to relax.  I have to say, anyone who gets the chance, should go.  Go have a fun trip.

Here is a gallery of all my photos:

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And that is all.

November

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Was HARD.

November was hard.  Was busy.  Was difficult.  Was stressful.

 

Why was it all of that?  Because not only was it the normal crazy life.  But there was also Thanksgiving.  Then there was NANO.

Nano is National Novel Writing Month.  It is a writing challenge to write a 50,000-word novel in 30 days. It’s a challenge I’ve attempted in three other years, but have never been able to win.  This year I had a plan.  I had an outline.  I had good strong characters. I had a plot that I was ready to dive into. And dive in I did.  For the first few days, I was doing pretty okay.  I had a goal of 2000 words a day.  Some day I met that goal.   Other days I just met the par of the day. Then I started working.  And I missed about three days of writing.  That was due to the fact I worked and was awake for 32 hours.  But somehow, I managed to in the nick of time to get exactly 50,001 words.

 

 

I really don’t know how I did it. But somehow I was able to get it all done.   It meant a lot of late nights.  More than once I was up until one or two.  While the day resets at midnight.   It was good to sit and get the number for the day as high as I could and then sit down at the end of the day and do as much as possible.  It wasn’t the best system but I suppose it worked.  Now I just have to finish the draft and edit.  I really have to edit.  Edit. Edit. Edit.

But November also brought me a job.  As I mentioned before I started working. I picked up a part-time job.  Wanted the extra income for Christmas. But having the job has been taxing on my schedule. Because as most of you know, my husband works ALL the time! So, me working really tips things over in weird ways.

It’s been difficult to get things pulled together.  I mean my mother has been EXTREMELY helpful.  Along with my bestie Christy. Between the two of them, I have been able to get to work and not worry about my children. That has been so nice.

Then I’ve been super worried the last few days of the month as my maternal grandmother  has been in the hospital. So I’ve been super concerned about her. And we had to run my son to the ER.  He jumped and bashed his head open. Four staples later, he is fine. It was just really  stressful.

 

November was long.  It was short.  It was nothing but a cluster of time disappearing.

 

that is all.

October

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Was Exhausting.

 

Days passed in such a blur that I could barely keep up with myself, let along three kids and a husband.  It was so demanding and all-encompassing that I just now am figuring out that it’s over.  Let alone over a week into the next month.

Each and every Sunday we were at church.  I just recently started going back to Sunday School.  So Sunday’s are even longer.  The morning became harder to get up earlier and all that.

 

Monday was a very easy day.  Just had to get the kids to school.  This particular day was good because I could use it to catch up and rest.  Which, I did.  But I would also try to get caught up on my housework and blog work.

 

Tuesdays were hard.  Not only did I schedule a ton of doctors appointments on these days.  (They used to be the day hubby was off) but we had Tuesday School and getting the short stack to Pre-K.  Then we had to go pick up Sissy from after school chorus practice.  One Tuesday of the month, I had a service unit meeting for Girl Scouts. That was good. But another thing on that calendar that was crazy busy full.
Wednesday was difficult because they were the point in the week where everyone would start having tantrums.  There was no reason, but by this day, everyone was just a bit touchy.  I would do as much housework I could while trying to keep The Television Watcher and Agents of SHIELD fansite pages up to date.  Then when the buses would get here in the afternoon it was the crunch.  I had a two-hour window to get all homework done and get the kids fed so we could go to church.  That in itself is very stressful.  Then we had the transition of Lucas learning how to go back to the WWJD crew, which was hard because he’s worse than me when it comes to change.  I loath it, he fights it.  So he wraps his hands around my neck and hangs there (because I refuse to hold him) until Becce pries him off of me and I run.   That sounds awful I know.   But he needs the “classroom” setting.  He needs to be around kids his own age.  And it’s not because he’s scared.  No, this is because he’s stubborn.

 

Thursday are crazy days because there are girl scout meetings.  The actual day part is fairly easy, but starting about 2 pm, I have to make sure I have everything together to address these girls, all the supplies together.  Then there is the rush to make supper before Haylie and I leave.  I herd cats at girl scouts.  I love my girl scouts.  But they get loud sometimes.  I mean really. It was a crazy train and when I would get home it would be just done time.

Friday was mostly likely my easiest of days. This day it was just a matter of getting Haylie to school and keeping the boys alive.  Not a lot of places to go.

Saturdays we had something to do every single day.  EVERY SINGLE SATURDAY there was something on the calendar. One weekend my daughter was camping. The next one we helped move my cousin home. We had a family thing the next weekend.  Then I had the Hallelujah Party to do on another weekend. Last weekend I had a girl scout event.  See every weekend we had something.  It took a lot of energy.

 

Other things that happened in October. I cut my hair.

 

I went from:20161031_105502

to: 20161031_142659

 

It was a busy and crazy month.  November was equally crazy, as you can see how long it has taken me to write and finish this post.

 

the end.

 

 

that is all.