Where did the Time Go?
Well, it’s finally the last month of the year. By finally, I really mean, what are you kidding me, we just started this year. Where has my year gone? I feel like it was just five minutes ago I was thinking about my 2017 and all the things I hoped to accomplish. Now it’s December and I can’t help but wonder if my year was successful. Truthfully, if I measure the year based on my to-do lists, it’s I’ve most likely failed. However, I will measure the success of my year by the health and happiness of my children, then I’m going to call it all good.
You might want to know what I’ve been up to in the recent days. Truth is, I’m just your average mom who is doing the daily things a mom does. I clean, I cook, I wipe runny noses and poopy butts. I make plans and hear the distant laughter of kiddos who know that I’ll never keep those plans. I fold laundry to see the basket dumped. I wipe the dust then turn and see things flying through the room. It’s just life.
I’m also your average person, I watch TV and fangirl over things I love. Like I freaked over Avenger’s: Infinity War trailer. LIKE FREAKED! I am in love with This Is Us and many other TV Shows. That is why I blog about them. (Shameless plug to check out my blogs AOS Fans and The Television Watcher. ) I’m reading a book called Beautiful Creators. I’m bullet journaling. I’m making list. I’m being my normal crazy self.
I’m struggling though because I, unfortunately, fall prey to the societies ideas of the need to be perfect. I do not meet that category. I’m not perfect, in fact, I think I would classify myself as a hot mess. I don’t like it. But whomp there it is. I am late. I have a stain on my shirt 73% of the time. I don’t get make-up on my face. Though I do love pretty eyeshadow. My hair stays in a messy bun 98% of the time. If it’s down, it’s because I’ve showered and am waiting for it to air dry. My socks, they are mismatched. My purse had the most random thing in it. I swear I pulled a small dino out the other day and was just happy that there was no snot on it.
I am a mess. I’m not even hiding that fact anymore. I am also human, who has feelings. And in the last six months, things have really hurt me. Between having to endure the humiliation of having so-called family and fighting tooth and fighting everything tooth and nail. It’s been a heck of a battle. So I’m just done at pretending that life is this perfect thing. But here is my deal. I’m not perfect, but I’m trying to live my life to please God and myself. Everyone else is no longer on my list to please. So stop trying to pressure me into being this cookie cutter shaped person. Now, of course, my parents and hubby are excluded from the general they. Them I’m still wanting to be happy with me. But other people can shove off a bit. I’m a hot mess. Take me as I am. Or LEAVE ME. I’m just saying.
I am gonna do me. I’m gonna please God. I’m going to polite and nice. I’m going to be happy. I’m going to be good. Good to my kids. I’m going take each day as a blessing and find the good in it. In other words, I’m done with the drama. I’m done with the wearing my emotions on my sleeve.
Wow, this blog took a turn I wasn’t expecting. I wanted to just kind of be light and fluffy. Tell any and all readers that life is ongoing. Time is passing so fast, I feel like I’m being left behind somedays. My year is basically gone. But I’m looking forward to the next one.
that is all.