Here lately, I haven’t been doing all that much except that I have been doing a ton of things all the time. Daily I deal with the toddlers. The toddlers keep me running in circles, big huge random difficult circles. They destroy, don’t listen and are these creatures that don’t ever stop. But then they melt my heart with their snuggles or cuddles. They tell me they love me. Lucas will run up and give me a kiss just because he wants to and it makes me just forget the pain and suffering that they have caused. That is the thing about parenting. You think you have reached your breaking point, but then you figure out that you are just getting started. That you can bend and not break a lot farther than you ever knew. Parenting is one of the biggest tests that I feel like ‘m failing but sometimes I can just look at my kids and know that I’m not. I can see that they are not the most behavior or perfect kids but they are good. They really are. They are good kids. Haylie proves that. The boys are getting there.
Outside of the toddlers/kids I also have been doing volunteer work. I’ve been a girl scout leader since May really, did all my training and what not. Started holding meetings in September and now that it’s December, things have been interesting. I have to say that I’ve learned a great deal about myself. What I’m willing to do, what I’m willing to not do. It’s interesting how things test and push you. I now know that I’m okay to be in that leadership position. That I can handle the parents, the kids, the paperwork, the issues that arise. I’ve been able to push through issues. Handle a fundraiser. Handle making plans, and dealing with others. I may not have handled every situation right. I may have messed up a few times, but I was learning. I’m ready to take my training wheels off and go forth. And this has been good. I”m proud of myself. I might not be able to provide financially for my family. I can do that. And that is good.
I’m back in this place where I’m good mentally, spiritually, and even physically. I’m back in a place where my head isn’t always telling me how hard it. How horrible I am. How miserable life is. I’m able to see the happiness in the small things. And that is a really nice thing. I’m on track with my relationship with God. I’m feeling stable there. I can always be better. I’m trying really hard. I might not know everything, but I’m moving forward. And the physical ways I’m good is that I’ve lost weight. I’m down to under 200. I never in my life would have dreamed I’d be over 200 pounds but I’m finally back under it. I’m full of energy. I’m able to get things done. I’m not sitting on my butt wishing I could get up but I can get up. I’ll never be able to sing enough praise for plexus and its pink drink. It’s helped me so much. I never realized how dehydrated I was, now that I’m not, and have this natural boost. I’m just amazed.
In creative avenues. I haven’t made any progress on my quilt, my novel./ fiction writing, my reading. my crocheting or any other project I have wanted to do. However, my “professional” writing has been doing well. I just published a column on my churches Facebook page and it will be reprinted in our monthly newsletter. I’m feeling really good about that. Though my blogs have definitely suffered. I’m trying though. I want to do good. I want to be good. I want to get things done as far as writing.
I’m going to wrap this up by saying all in life, life is life. But life is good. Even when it’s not. That is all.