Raising The Kids
When it came to writing this mommy blog, I really didn’t know what I was going to write. But the only thing I knew for sure is that I as a Mom struggle with the question: Am I raising my children right? I want the answer to be yes. Yes, my kids are growing up to be normal, productive members of society; people who will do the right thing, even when it’s hard. To be people who will be kind to those who aren’t; the kind of person that everyone loves. In other words that ideal person we all strive to be in some form or the other. But the thing is, that just like everyone else, I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. I’m always questioning myself about their actions. Did I do something wrong in their raising. Questions like Am I being too lax, to stern, too much of any direction that my children are suffering from my in abilities.
I know these Mommy blogs tend to be filled of self-doubt and questions. But I have to say, for me that is a reflection of how I feel parenthood is. I’m always asking if I’m doing the right thing. Are my children going to grow up to be good people? That is something I wonder about quite frequently. So my question then becomes: What I can do to ensure the future of my children.
For me I have a few options. The first thing is that I know I can do is pray for my children. This tried and true method will ensure my children’s future. Praying for my children is a daily exercise that will make sure that my children have God on their side, that they will be raised well. I want my children to have a good relationship with God and not have to struggle to find it again–as I had to. Praying for my children is how they will make it through. It’s how I made it through. It’s how the generations before me made it through. Generations of children only survive because of their mamma on their knees, praying them through to adulthood.
Another thing that I must to do to help my children is stop letting my worries get to me. Letting the overall picture stop getting me so worked up and believe that as long as I meet their needs and remember that they are kids. I should be able to reach them. If I remember that they are kids, and that they need to play and be kids then the adult stuff will come in the time it’s meant to. That if I live by example of how an adult is supposed to live, they will pick it up. I can’t expect my children to be little adults. They need the freedom to explore, be kids, and get messy. Kids aren’t little adults. I’ve been coming from this place. WHICH WAS STUPID. My mother didn’t treat me like that. But because of that, I’m now dealing with an 8-year-old whom things she’s an adult. I should have never treated her like such. But I did, because when she was born, I was young, and didn’t know what I was doing.
The third thing I know I can do is led by example. If I want my kids to be a good person when they are adults, I have to be a good adult now. I have to show them how to be kind, good, patient, peaceful, happy. I can’t afford to be that lost 20 something who doesn’t know what I’m doing because they are watching me. They are seeing me struggle and that isn’t good for them. I have to know who I am. I have to be their mom before I am anything else. This is the hardest one of the short list. I want to be their Mom, but I want to be Maciena too. I want the cake and to eat it. That is hard for me. I wanted to have so much in my life, but I’m a stay at home Mommy and I have lost how to be me. It seems like me whiny about being a Mom and that isn’t the case. I love being a Mom. But I sometimes wonder how to be both the woman and the Mom. That is one of my personal struggles. But that struggle means that I’m not being a strong example for my kids. That struggle makes me confused and unable to be a strong adult. I have to stop being confused and be a good strong example for my kids. They need to see how to manage the trials of life. They need to see me not fall apart. But figure out how to go from one task to another.
Being a parent is one of the most challenging things there is in the world. So I am stumbling through it. I’m trying to learn how to be the best Mommy I can be. I need to raise the kid’s right. So that they will grow up to be the good people, I want them to be.