The What-Ifs are the things that I really think make me mad. Not angry mad, the other one, the crazy. If you ever watched Mom’s Night Out you’ll know the phrase, I’ve played it all out. When Sarah Drew’s character is crazily ranting about how she know they will come and take her children because she’s call poison control one too many times. And various other things. I’ve planned it all out. And in someone of the same crazy way she has. I see these horrific things happening in my mind. Like my boys, especially my oldest son, are Houdini’s, escape artist, the kind of kids that makes you think they are part octopus that can escape any situation. Seriously have you seen the youtube octopus videos….They can get out of small space, get into small spaces, hide in plain sight and escape the safe boarders of my home.
Yesterday, I had a ton of kids in my house. Apparently it’s the cool place to be. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I force Haylie to say in the back yard. But one of the kids–and I really have no idea who–left the front door open, because when I thought Randy was soundly sleeping in bed (I’d put him down for nap, gave him his juice, tucked him in, turned his movie on, the works and hadn’t heard a sound from him.) I went to check on the kids from the back porch to hear him crying at the gate of our fence. I was flabbergasted. I have safety knobs on the door handles. I have hooks on the sliding doors. I have created an escape proof house (or I hope so) and there was my one-year-old. Outside of the fence. The kids hadn’t heard him. But I did the second I stepped on the porch. I get Haylie to walk him to the front door. We get there about the same time to find it is standing wide open. Now I will finish this story by saying he is, was, and continues to be perfectly safe, sound, healthy, happy. But in that moment. The what-ifs started. What if I hadn’t walked out. What if he went straight instead of to the fence. What if his story had ended. While I was unaware he wasnt’ in bed. Those are scary what ifs. And they are the only ones that I’m putting down. I have a million more that circle my head. Millions.
In some cases I’ve planned it all out. Like in the cases of what if a fire. What if an intruder. What if a car wreck. Those what if’s are all sensible and could happen. Those need to be plan. But the what if’s about my children. They makes me a crazy lady, crazy mom, and the crazy neighbor who yells at a back yard of children for not shutting a door.
So what are you crazy what if about?
That is all.
***NOT MY VIDEO, EMBEDDED FROM YOUTUBE.****