Blogging because I want to.
So what is up in my life for this check in. Well the same old, same old. I say that because while every day is a new challenge and adventure in the world of being a parent to a girl and two little boys. It’s the same. Every day I get up and debate whether I want to put on pants. Most days I don’t. PJ bottoms are just fine, and no one really comes and sees me so I don’t have to dress for anyone but my own comfort and I feel good that I put a bra on. Why push it with jeans. because while I love a good pair of blue jeans, and love how they can make me look, I just don’t see the point in wearing them at home when no one is around. I might do it some days for just the self-esteem boost of getting dressed and not feeling like a slob.
Every day I do my best to clean some room of the house that is a mess again by the time I go to bed. No matter how much work and time I put into it. I have to try because when I don’t try (and there have been days when I haven’t tried) I feel like a big giant “F” word. FAILURE. It’s a word that I no longer want in my vocabulary. Everyday it’s sitting at the computer and wasting time on Pintrest and Facebook and working on articles and blog post like this one. But the blog post make me have a level of daily writing. Most of the post are on AOSFans.com and don’t get me wrong I love the work I do on it. I love the feedback I’ve been getting from strangers. So that makes me feel great and as long as I feel I’m being reward and happy with the blog I’ll stay with it. I’ll keep going at it. But it’s part of the daily task. It’s every day of playing the “No” game. No we don’t hit. No we can’t jump down the stairs, No we don’t have candy before supper. No we don’t this or that. I want to tell the kids yes, and I do, but they want to do some thing that are just dangerous. Every day it’s listening to Mickey Mouse play on the TV–except for the days I take the TV over, like yesterday 12 episodes of Gilmore Girls. Thank you Netflix. Everyday is the same. There is variations of course. But it’s always the same. There is nothing wrong with it, but I’m starting to feel that itch again. That itch to mix it all up and make the same change. Make a new go about something. I just don’t know what to do or even how to do it. Since the tiny ones need me to take care of them and setting them onto anyone else seems cruel.
But yea. I was texting my cousin Kelly and she asked me how I get anything done and that sort of sparked this blog check in post. Because truth is, I don’t ever really get anything done. I mark things off my to do list but it’s like as soon as I finish a task, i just have to add it back to the list for the next day or at least the next week. I finish a book, I start another one. I finish the laundry, and there is already dirty laundry. I give the boys a bath, one of them smears food all over them. It’s like no matter what I do accomplish there is always a new task to replace it. So i again feel like the stupid “F” word and I’m always doing something. I know it’s easy to think that because i’m a stay at home mom that I don’t do anything and trust me I have that own though about myself too, like I’m just wasting my time since I’m not working, I’m not having a career, but the truth is I’m doing a ton of things that never stops. It’s the same as a career. If i was in a newsroom. As soon as I filed one story, another one would take it’s place. But at least I’d feel like I did something. While at home I never feel like I’ve done anything.
I’m changing subjects now because I can feel myself going into that pity me place and I have no desire to enter that mind frame. I’m working on a huge elance article. 5000 words. it’s a lot. I should be doing that instead of this. But what can I say. I needed to do my 750 words as well and typing a blog post out on that, seems like a could use of one stone but hitting two birds. Get my word count and create a blog post. The 750 site is where I normally type my devotionals as well, even sometimes my elance articles. So that I’ve kept count of the number of words that I’ve put onto a screen in a day.
In one hand I think it might be cheating but on the other hand 750 words can be used in any way i see fit. It’s the way it works. The tag line is “private, unfiltered, spontaneous, daily.” So it doesn’t have to be anything. I’m mostly using it to get used to writing a 1000 words a day since NANO is coming up.
Yes, NANO. I’ve officially decided that I’m attempting NANO again this year. I’m trying to prepare myself better that I have previous years. One on hand I’m very excited about it and on the other hand I’m dreading trying to fit it in with my daily routine. But i feel if I use the 750 words to type that daily word count it will be okay. It will just take a little long on the 750 words but that should be okay. Because right now I’ have 1105 words done (not all on this post) and that is about what I’ll need to write daily for NANO.
Since my phone just rang, that is all.