I made myself sick:
Not on purpose I swear. I have this bad habit of skipping breakfast. Either driving an instant breakfast carnations drink or just a cup or two or a pot of coffee, no big deal. Then I normally eat a rather healthy and hearty lunch, to keep me going, until our 7 pm supper.
Well that is what I did, except when it came to that healthy lunch, I didn’t do it. I snacked on chips and salsa because nothing sounded good. I have been having that problem lately, not having food sound appealing. Instead, I snacked on the chips and attempted to work on a blog post for thetelevisionwatcher.com and that was when I started feeling bad. I was nauseated. I was really jittery and shaking. It was internal and then it wasn’t… my hands were visually shaking. My eyes were blurring as I was trying to type out the blog post. I couldn’t seem to hold a coherent thought. It was all a bumbled mess.
Luckily, for me, both of my boys were in the afternoon nap, so I decided I’d nap too. But it was very bright in my living room. I closed the blinds. It was still too bright. So I pinned a blanket over the front window. I then brought my blanket and pillow from my bed to snuggle down on the couch. It took a few minutes to get settled but once I did, I looked at the time, and it was about 12:30, so I closed my eyes. My body was still all jittery inside, but settled quickly so I could sleep.
I feel to sleep quickly and was gone, out cold. I woke once to look at the time it was 1:36pm. I still had time before either boy would wake, or Roscoe’s 2pm feeding. I close my eyes for what feels like two seconds. I then hear Lucas crying. I know it’s him, because there is a difference in the boys cries. I want to move, to say something to him. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t move. My son was screaming and I couldn’t move. I couldn’t open my eyes. I could do anything. There was a heavy pressure on every part of me. I’m not panicking, I’m past panicking. I’m having a complete meltdown. I somehow grab my cell phone and call the last person I called, because I can’t open my eyes to see who I am calling or to direct the call to someone specific. I can’t talk but I’m trying, shouting “help me.” Though who ever has answered can’t understand me, since my mouth isn’t working right. They reply, “NO, I won’t marry you.”
I’m in hysterics now. I can’t move. I can’t speak. I can’t get help. My mind is in overdrive. What the heck is going on? How can I get help? Why is Lucas crying? Are my boys okay? And a million other questions. So in my mind I scream out to God, “In the name of Jesus let me move!” I come flying off the couch and realize that I’m standing in the middle of my living room, panting.
Lucas is sound asleep, safe. Roscoe is sound asleep, also completely safe. I’ve been dreaming. Having some sort of bout with sleep paralysis. It was by far the scariest thing I have experienced while sleeping. Nightmare have nothing on that.
So, I made myself sick with over stimulating myself on caffeine, resulting in a sleep paralysis episode. I don’t recommend it.
that is all.