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ice cream

my grandmother isn’t coming to my graduation.  i only graduate college once.  i have worked too long and hard for this to not be disappointed that she isn’t coming.  this is the woman who was always there and now she is choosing not to be.  there is a great reason it’s not like she is being cruel.  my uncle is sick and dying from cancer with the in-home nurse saying it could be any day now.  so my grandmother is choosing to stay with her because on the off-chance he dies while they are down here she won’t be alone. rationally i know that is a good thing.  but i’m also really upset.  because my aunt is alone because she won’t/hasn’t called her kids.  they should be there.  she isn’t alone and seriously what help is a 92-year-old woman going to for her anyway.  my grandmother told me it was so she didn’t have to be alone with the body.  so my grandmother is skipping my college graduation on the off-chance that is the day my uncle decides to die.

 

i just want one day.  one day.  i know its a very complicated situation.  i know that i should let it go.  but i’m sad. i’m upset.  my grandmother is only do what she thinks is best.  but breaking my heart like this on the off-chance isn’t right.  and it’s possible i’m being very selfish.  but i’m very angry at her and my aunt for not acting like a grown up.

there is more complication that i’m not typing out.

 

i’m just really hurt.  and in my hurt i got an ice cream blizzard.  and then it got all melty like my grandma used to microwave it to be like for me when i was a kid and that made me even more sad that she is letting me down in such a big way.

 

yea.  i’m pathetic right now.

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About hurleysview

stuff, blahs, yadadas...

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