Blah. This is me, not doing a single thing on my massive Wednesday to-do list. Because I just don’t know how to go about my to-do list today.
Truth be told, I don’t know how to go about a lot of things this week.
The past month has been great in some ways. In others not so much. I really don’t to blast these sorts of problems on my blog. Because as open as I can be, I’m very close when it comes to other matters. So I’m gonna be vague and …..what’s the word…..mysterious. I like mysterious as the other description right there. So I’m going to talk about it, without saying what it is. You follow?
My back as been pushed up against the wall, and I’m struggling to balance everything I’m juggling while being pushed up against this brick of a wall. I don’t like it. It needs to stop. I really can’t see anyway that it will. I can see logically that it just happened, it isn’t my fault yet, my emotions make me feel so guilty like there was something I could have done to fix it. It has to stop.
I am trying to one hundred percent trust that this too shall past, and know that God is going to take care of me and my family. But it’s hard seeing this problem in front of you, knowing that it is so big. Fearing the consequences. Looking into choices and having those choices be taken away so that there appears to be no solution. Knowing that the reason the band aid isn’t working is because of you. Not so much, you, just stuff that happened because of you.
I know God is bigger than my problem, and he will provide a way. That it isn’t the end of the world. But it sure feels that way.
It has been a horrible few days, weeks really. And it looks like it is gonna be a horrible for a while.
I am refusing to dwell on that anymore today. Today has to be about getting through it. Going on. Moving forward. It is now ten am and I have been on the phone most of the morning. It is also now time to feed Lucas. This is taking priority. The good news is, my financial has finally clears and my the end of next week it should be awarded on my topnet account. But I’m afraid that good news also means I won’t get my residual money until mid September if I’m lucky.
I pray it comes sooner.
Well it’s off to do the daily stuff. It’s Wednesday, so laundry and bedroom day. I’m on the second load of laundry and haven’t even touched the bedroom’s.
Luke is now fully fed. I need to get him and I dressed and off to the grocery store.
So. Blog Post over.
I might update later a more thought out post.
Defiantly at least one devotions.