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A Case of the Mondays

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Why Monday?

 

I woke up this morning feeling groggy.  Was it because of a lack of sleep, nope.  I went to bed at 9 pm and I was happily soundly sleeping by 10 pm.  So I had plenty of sleep.  I think my body just knew that Monday was coming.  Not that I work a 9 to 5.  So I don’t know why I wasn’t ready for Monday.  But this particular Monday has already been quite rough.  My daughter hasn’t been feeling good.  Not quite sick, but not running at 100%.  So I had to run down to the store to replace the medicine that we’ve run out of.  Now, I’m the stay at home mom that doesn’t drive in the morning commuter traffic.  And was almost hit twice.  Once by a car that appeared out of NO where when I was making my left hand turn.  Once as I was walking across the parking lot.  The car didn’t think they had to drive slowly in a parking lot.  Needless to say I was rattled when I got home to deliver her medicine. But I did get home in one piece, which is quite the blessing.

Now it’s like 9:30 and I’ve done my daily devotional and worked on this blog.  I have a huge list of things that need to happen today.  So I should get my butt up from my desk and get to work.  I have a list that is overwhelming and there is only one way to get up over the whelming stuff.  That made no sense.  Just go with it.

Hopefully, I’ll be able to turn this Monday around and not get hit by any cars today.  Here’s hoping!

 

 

that is all.

Road Trip

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Pine Mountain

 

Yesterday, I ran away from home.  Well, kind of.  I went on a road trip.  I woke up an at ungodly hour, and meet my mother and sister (on time) at our meeting spot.  Then we all loaded into one car, and drove down to Pineville, KY.

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This city itself was fascinating, while we didn’t explore it too much, it was still interesting to drive through.   We had a goal in mind, Chained Rock.  Now, I’ll be the first to admit I didn’t really research too much about the state park where the rock is located.  So I had just assumed that it was this nice and easy place to walk up to, look at, take my photos and move on.  WOAH! I was wrong.  It was a half mile hike out the rock.  That in itself wasn’t that bad.  It was a cool morning.  There were stairs and rails along the way.

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It was that bad.  Then the three of us just came to the place where the trail just ended.  Like nice path, that just stops into a giant rock.  We were all kind of like, what is this?

So I feel froggy, and I just start going across.  I really had to monkey climb/crawl across and when I come to the next clearing, I see this amazing view.  But I keep going, and finally, finally I see the chain.  I keep going around and there it is.

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I was just sort of in awe.  I go back and tell them they need to come.  Mom is hesitant, Sissy is more willing to give it a go.  And the three of us work our way around this giant rock and get to the landing.  Sissy and I got more adventurous and climbed out closer to the edges.  Which was super cool.  The whole place was basic, but amazing. It felt amazing to have to work for such a view.  It almost makes me what to take up mountain climbing as a hobby.  Almost.  DSCN4533DSCN4537DSCN4535

The rock we had to maneuver around was rough.  I’m sure that a seasoned rock climber would think it is nothing, but the thing is, I’m a stay at home mom.  My exercise level is chasing toddlers.  So this was thrilling.  It was difficult for me.  But it was so amazing. So amazing.  The rocks were beautiful.  They were amazing.  The top was super fun.  It had some amazing views.  DSCN4549 DSCN4551 DSCN4552 DSCN4557

 

The park has this resort, and my mom pointed out that it had that Dirty Dancing feel.  I agreed.  It felt that it was out of time.  A place of yesteryear or something.  But it was a nice place and we ended up eating at the restaurant.  It was so overpriced.  But the food was so good.  It had an amazing view. It was nice to have a meal where I am not being at clawed at.  And was able to have a lovely conversation with the ladies of my family.   After we got back onto the trail, which was so much harder to go back up.  (To many stairs up) I had to woo-hoo out loud.  I just felt so exhilarated.  I touched the top of the world.  ( Yes, in reality I was only 2,200 feet above sea level, but I don’t like reality)  It was a real high. Pun, intended.   13872696_10102816181816272_2003509051325461888_n

We then took highways home.  Instead of the interstate.  Which was fun driving through all the towns.  It wasn’t so fun, when I heard a car accident.  Because that was traumatic, everyone was okay and things were good.  But hearing the crash was terrifying.  We got home super late, and by super late I do mean around 9.  But I was exhausted and went to sleep soon after I got home.  I loved the day I had with my family.  I hope we get to go back and explore the area more.  It was so much bigger than I think any of us knew.  I’m thankful that I was able to take the time with my mom and sister.  It was such a good day.

and for now….

 

…that is all.

Welcome August

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Please be Kind.

 

The summer is coming to a close, that is how I feel at the beginning of August.  Mostly because school starts in the middle of the month.  It’s the month that I either thrive from, or barely survive.  There is no in between.  It’s also the last month that I really have time to just be.  August is the gatekeeper month so to speak, because once it’s over, it’s becomes a time frame in which, I’m super busy.

So as I start my August 2016, I’m thinking about my daughter last year of elementary school.  Hoping that I can help her make good memories.  Encourage her to be a good student.  Help her be active in choir and girl scouts.  I can’t believe that we are in her final year of elementary school.  I know that as she continues her education it will get harder for her, but I know how smart my daughter is and can’t wait to watch her grow.

Then along with my daughters school stuff, I am thinking about my oldest son, I enrolled him in preschool yesterday. Now I have to wait to see if he’ll be approved into a program.  And if he is, well, this momma will be very emotional.  I can’t wait for him to grow and learn.  To expand his knowledge (he’s already so smart) but I also want to keep him a baby.  It breaks my heart to see how big he is already.  To think he’ll get on a bus and go to a school for even a half of a day. Well that breaks my heart.

Now I could repeat the above paragraph changing the worlds oldest son to youngest and preschool into Tuesday school.  Now Randy isn’t officially enrolled, but I am sure that I will be able to get him in, and that breaks my heart for all the reasons listed above.  I can’t believe my babies are really toddlers and thinking about becoming school aged children.
Along with this time of year I’m thinking about how things are going to change with the school routine.  Which is a good thing, but it’s also a stressful thing.  There is so much to do and now many hours less in the day.  But then there is other good stuff coming, like fall.  Amazing T.V.  meaning that blog work is going to get busy again.  (The Television Watcher, Agents of SHIELD)  Fall days will be coming and I love when the leaves fall.  Fall and Spring are my favorite seasons and I hope we have a good fall, not a hot one, not one that is gone in a blink of an eye.  I don’t want to rush into winter by any means.  Thought August means it getting close.  And I’m the kind of crazy that has already started thinking about Christmas gifts for people and making sure I have addresses for Christmas cards (If you want a card, I want to send you one; email me your address)

But as I end this blog, three days into August, I can only hope this month is easier than the first seven months because those have been hard.  So for now….

 

 

…that is all.

Something Happened

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It wasn’t Good.

 

Let me set the scene.  It’s Thursday, I wake up to discover we are completely one hundred percent out of milk.  I don’t really feel all that great, but I know I need to get my three children to the grocery store and get milk.  There is no waiting on Phil to bring it home.  So I wait until the afternoon, and get us all ready and go.  I get a great parking space.  We get one of those massive stupid car carts.  I fight the boys the whole time we are in the store to stay in the car.  Haylie has the need to touch everything.  Then thinking she’s being helpful but things I’m not buying into the cart.  By time I’m ready to cash out, I’m tired.  Four jugs of juice.  Two gallons of milk. And  a pack of toilet paper. That is all I purchased.

 

I wheel the massive cart back to my car, and tell the boys to stay put.  Then I instruct Lucas to get in the car first.  Of course the four-year old doesn’t listen.  He takes off running one way, Randy (age 2) the other.  Thankfully, Haylie knows this drill and grabs Randy, I get Lucas.  They both are put in the car.  As I’m buckling Randy’s five point harness, Haylie is buckling Lucas into his booster. I’m correcting them. Now these are not exact quotes, but they are close.

“You have to listen to Mommy.”
“There are reasons Mommy tells you to do things”
“No, you don’t get your tablet, you weren’t listening.”
“You don’t want to get hurt, you have to listen to me, we are in a parking lot, there are lots of cars.”

Now if you know me in real life, you know that my voice isn’t quite in nature.  There is already a ton of noise from passing cars, other shoppers and my own radio. So my voice isn’t exactly soft.  But I’m not screeching.  I want to point out that I know when I’m screeching, and this one not one of those times.  I was yelling.  I’ll admit that.  But again, if you know me, or my boys, you know that is exactly what you have to do sometimes.  The quite approach while nicer doesn’t work.  Believe me I’ve tried.  (It works with Haylie, just not the boys.)

 

Here is where things take a turn.

 

From the background I start hearing this lady rant and rave.  Now I try to be aware of goings on around me because I’m a lady who three children, who could be very easily marked a target.  My children could be grabbed, even I could be grabbed.  I know that isn’t a fun thought, but it’s a thought that floats around in my brains.  So I hear this lady, and off the bat assume she’s in a bickering match with the driver of the golden van she was in.

Boy was I wrong.

What this lady was screaming about was the fact I was yelling at babies.

And she didn’t stop until she knew she was unhappy with my parenting skills.  She ranted and raved of how I was yelling at babies, that I was an awful parent, I needed CPS called on me.  She even threaten me that if I was there when she came out she would be calling someone.  (I told her she could because she was harassing me.)

There are two gentlemen in two different cars.  One, a stranger to both of us, is telling this woman to shut up, mind her own business. The other, a stranger to me, says he was only giving, and I quote, “the idiot a ride.” I’m standing beside my car baffled at first.  With the feeling of: did that just happen?  And the pure panic of what is this lady going to try.  I have my babies in the car.  Nothing can happen to them or even to me in front of them.

By time I got in the car I was shaking.  She was in the store, I was safe in my car leaving the parking lot.  I call the hubby to hear him say the words I needed to hear, “she’s a idiot, don’t worry about it.”  The tears came and the self doubt that I am always plagued with hit as well.

Of course, because of the day and age, I posted an open letter to her on Facebook for all my friends and family to see.  Thankfully they were nothing but supportive.  Ranging from anger at this stranger to nothing but love for me.  ( I do have an amazing set of friends.)

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But the more I think about this, and of course I over think things, the more I realize that I’m never going to be a good enough parent.  I’m just not.  Someone is ALWAYS going to have an opinion.  Whether they keep it to there selves or shout it across a grocery store parking lot.  But the fact remains I won’t ever met their standards.  But I can’t care about it.  Did that lady shake me? Yes, to my core.  I was so upset, so shaken, angry, sad.  But I wasn’t wrong.  My kids shouldn’t be allowed to run around a parking lot.  They shouldn’t be let off the hook to not listening.  There were a million factors that I was aware of as their mother.  No one is going to love my children like I do.  Or know what is best for them like I do.  No one is going to be the mother that I am for them.  And while that lady might not like the way I parent. She doesn’t have a vote.  The hubby gets a vote, and he hasn’t disagreed with me yet. So I think I”m good.

Here of late I’ve been giving unsolicited advice to new mothers, and it’s simply to go with their gut, they are the mommy, they don’t need to default to someone else unless they want to.  (Because there were/are times I just want someone to tell me what to do.) And it’s time I go back and here my own advice.  I am my children’s mother.  I’m a good mom.  They love me.  I love them.  I would die before letting them be harmed.   And to me, that is the definition of a good mom.

 

Here is my last parting thought.  One more lesson that this nasty woman taught me.  Be kind.  There is too much violence and hatred in the world.  If we could all take a second to think before we acted, before we spoke, we be let the angry action fly.  This world could be a touch nice.  But more than being kind.  Lets try to live by the example that Christ gave us.  He took the most vile of things and made them for good.  He healed.  He prayed for people.  He made things better.  Lets just try to be more like our Savior and less like the devil.

Now maybe I can finally put this awful thing to bed.  Let it go and move on.  All I know is that I was shaken.  I didn’t like it and words are how I express that feeling out.

Thank you to my friends and family that lifted me up yesterday, your kindness will not be forgotten.  Your love, will be returned.

 

 

and for now,

…that is all.

Summer 2016

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What I’ve been up too…

 

So, I haven’t blogged on my personal blog since May, and that was really only to mark that my daughter had ended her school year.  Since then I’ve worked on The Television Watcher.  (Check it out, please I work so hard on it)  But not really did anything on my devotional blog or this one.  But tonight as I sit here and try to wind myself down from the weekend that has been a bit brutal, I thought I would try to update anyone who cares.

 

Summer 2016, has been very good, a bit boring, and a touch productive.  Overall I have to say that I am not really looking forward to this summer ending.  One I feel like I haven’t accomplished enough. Though I do always feel like that.  Does anyone ever feel like have accomplished enough?  Does anyone end a day going, that was enough?  Because I swear I never do.

 

Adulting

I’ve adulted a bit this summer.  One day in specific Phil was home and he was mowing, weeding and started a fire.  While the fire was going we were able to burn some of the junk in our yard.  Also I was able to clean out the garage a bit and get some of that junk burned.  It was one of those really HOT day and I was sweating so badly (like we won’t talk about how bad).  But it was really a productive day.  I found all kinds of puzzle pieces that had been missing.  I was able to makes some space in the garage.  Not enough for anything good to happen.  But progress was made and sometimes you just have to  appreciate that.  Which is what I did that day.  [I still went to bed wishing I had done more.] But it was a day that I had adulted really hard.  Because along with that garage work, Phil and I did some stuff with the interior work.  Meaning that we got some more of our decor up.  Like I fixed our cool shelf in the living room, and he hung up new shelves so that we can display our Loote Crate stuffs.

I’ve also adulted in the ways of keeping kids alive.  Cleaning on a regular basis.  Taking care of bills.  All that stuff you have to do but really don’t give a lot of acknowledgement towards. So my summer had included a ton of adulting.

 

Reading

My summer has also included reading, thus far,  eight books.  That count starts in June.  And it isn’t going to stop.  I have already finished my Good-reads reading challenge. But because I was thinking I wasn’t going to do well this year with reading, I only challenged myself to 12 books.  Thinking I would read one a month.  But thank God reading has flourished.  Reading is one of those things that I often let fall to the wayside because I think I’m too busy or something.   In case you want to know what I have read this year thus far, awesome cool list:

Seven Minutes in Heaven

The Walking Dead, Book One
Cross My Heart, Hope to Die
Hide and Seek
Two Truths and a Lie
Never Have I Ever
The Lying Game
The Bell Jar
Son
Labor Day
The Martian
Twilight Tenth Anniversary/Life and Death Dual Edition

 

 

 

 

 

I won’t be done reading any time soon either, right now I have over 10 books checked out of the library, including half of the graphic novel of The Walking Dead because, well, why not.  Including some classics like Fitzgerald and Hemingway.  I also am reading:
White Oleander Because well, Adaline Bowman reads it in “The Age of Adaline” and why read a book that you saw in a movie.  And it’s better than reading Young Adult for the rest of my life.  Even though I do love YA books.

 

Babysitting

This is topic is a bit at a stand-still, because as of right now I’m not babysitting.  The Mom of the kids took some time off, and over the last week or so I haven’t had the kids.  But most of the summer I have.  And let me tell you six kids, one me.  It’s been an adventure.  But fun too.  My plans for schedules and all that hasn’t gone so great.  But it’s been good too.  My kids have been able to have fun with other kids.  The lunch schedule has been good for my boys, they are sort of learning how to sit at a meal and eat.  It’s not always a success, but some days it is. I’ll get my extra kids back.  But I’m not sure how much longer I’ll have them.  Because well they are growing up and soon they will be going to different schools.  I’ll miss them so much when I lose them.  It’s not just about earning money and feeling like I’m contributing to the family.  But I do love those kids so much.

 

Writing

I only add this to say that I’ve been working on it a little.  But not too much.  I have all these ideas but it’s hard to sit down and get them all laid out.  I wish I could just sit down and put it down. Much like I’m doing right now with this blog, but every time I do, it’s like a mental wall goes up.  It doesn’t get to get down. I want it too, but I feel like I’m ice when I have time.  That is all I can say about that right now.

The other side of the writing is journaling.  That I’ve been doing.  Not so much in the traditional sense of sitting and writing my feelings.  But making list and having a bullet journal has sort of helped me cope.  Keep my head straight.  Which helps me.  I know I’m not falling apart.  I know I have things in order.  I’m keeping track of things.  It really just helps me know where I stand.  That and coloring and my new list book.    20160723_231355.jpgThe book makes me think about things I love, hate, like, want, ect and that makes me slow down.  Sometimes when I feel myself over thinking, I am able to  make my head just stop and redirect.  Which honestly has helped me.  I don’t have to be cranky when I’m stressed.  I have an outlet.

 

Ending

That has been my summer for the most part.  Things have moved along.  We’ve had some really fun days.  Like my family went and had a fun day at the Louisville Zoo.  The boys were so good.  They walked the whole place themselves.  The didn’t run away or get to bad.  It wore them out.  But it was so much fun watching my kids love watching the animals.  It was just a good day to be a family.  We don’t get many family outings.

I can’t really thinking of anything else that I need to write about.  The summer is moving by so fast.  I’m looking forward to Monday and an excellent fun time with my sister.  There will be other people, but I’m planning on loving the time I get with her.  We have just about a month until school starts back and then I don’t know what I’ll be doing.  It will probably just be me and the boys until Haylie gets off the bus.  Maybe will get to go do fun stuff.  They are finally getting to an age where public is easier.  So we shall see. For now….

 

…that is all.

An End.

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Last Day

 

Today is the last day of the 2015-2016 school year for the county we live in. Which in reality isn’t that big of a deal. School years come and go. Teachers all are ready to relax and then have basically a month off, before they start professional development and preparations for the next year.

But this mommy, well I’m sad.  Today is the last day of my baby girls 4th grade year. Which means in the fall when we go back, she’ll be at in her last year as an elementary schooler.  That makes my heart sad.  I remember the days when it was just me and her.  No school.  No jobs.  Just her and I against the world.  Now she’s growing and it’s her learning all about the world, going off in adventures with the world.

 

It just makes me sad. Happy too, but sad.

 

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do, Reh, Fa

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So, La, Te, Do

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Every now and then I like to take stock in my life, see where I am, where I am going, ect.  Then evaluate and the adjust my settings.  When I do this I like to write about it.  I’m a girl who likes having a record.  This however, is not one of those post.

 

In fact, while my body is tired, my mind is in a silly place.  Phil is watching some classic Van Dam movie.  The boys are in bed, either sleeping or to scared to face the wrath of mommy.  Haylie is getting herself ready for 4th grade field day tomorrow.  And while I do have a million things I’d like to do.  A million jobs -both mental and physical- that need to be done.  I’m sitting here, kicked back on the couch, feet propped, and writing to whomever is willing to read this.  Especially since I have no intention of going back to read to see if I have thought faster than I can type.   Leaving words out, missing things, and making it difficult to read.  Tonight there will be no editing.  Because I’m lazy, silly and careless tonight.

 

I just want to do something so I don’t fall asleep at a quarter til 9, because I’m old, but I’m not that old.  Not yet.  Summer is a week away and I’ve been so busy prepping for the six kids that will be here during the day, that I’ve somehow not really planned my son’s 4th birthday.  He wants a race car cake and I have to figure that out. El, pronto. It’ll be a small crowd, but it will be fine, because well quite frankly, he’s a small guy, he doesn’t need a huge thing, just his close family.

 

Haylie is days away from finishing fourth grade.  I HATE IT! One of my status was all about how she was finishing first grade, I miss those days, she was so sweet. Now, she’s sassy.  Carries her emotions on her sleeve.  Has an attitude as big as the grand canyon.  I can’t believe my sweet little trouble maker has grown into a sassy trouble maker going into the fifth grade.

 

The boys are good. Growing.  Changing.  Fighting.  Not listening.  Being boys.  Right now Randy has the underneath of his eye all torn up because Lucas scratched him because he was touching his toy.  That is my life, breaking up toddler fights, because they fight a lot.

 

I won’t write about Phil.  Because he is the same as always.  He works.  He reads.  He sleeps.  He works again.  Occasionally he’ll take a day off work and go fishing.  That is it.

 

My head is starting to hurt.  My eye is watering.  My silliness is fading, so much so that it hasn’t even woven its way into this blog post.  I think I’m going to end this here, and go take a hot shower and then read in bed, until my 30-year-old body passes out, because it thinks it’s a 40 something instead of the youth of my spirit.

 

and with that

 

that is all.

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